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Gay and single? You’re part of a trend

“But I don’t wanna die all aloooooone!”, said the devastated queen sitting beside me at a group therapy open circle.

I could feel his pain.

“I’ve been single for almost fifteen years now, WTF!”

For me it’s only been about four years, but I still resonate with his anxiety because that’s what we’ve been indoctrinated to believe.  Single people die all alone in the world with nobody to love and care for them, right? Well, actually no…

Luckily, I decided to do some digging and see if this was actually true and I was so surprised to find that all my single sisters are actually ahead of the curve!

Around the globe, more people than ever before are opting to remain single and the numbers continue to rise every year.

According to professor Bella DePaulo, an expert on singledom and academic affiliate in Psychological and Brain sciences at UCSB, one in four people will have never married by 50.

Currently, 45% of people in the US who are 18 years or older are single.  That’s nearly half!

There is a stigma in society that there is something “wrong” with people who fail to find or choose not to find partners, but the truth is that there are actually many benefits to staying single.

Singles often have better relationships with their friends and families according to a study published in the European Journal of Social Psychology and -as we know- people who have the best social ties with others are generally the happiest people to be found. In this way singles may genuinely be happier.

We’re healthier too!  Yep!  Research published in the Journal of Women’s Health revealed that us singletons had lower body mass indexes (BMI) and were at less risk of the dangers associated with smoking and booze when compared to our married counterparts.

We also have more sex than married people.  YES!  According to a survey published in the Archives of Sexual Behaviour single people enjoyed more sex than their matrimonially bonded participants.

Lastly, not only is it a powerful global movement with more and more people embracing and celebrating their flying solo status.  But it has been found that single people are anything but alone, and rather that they actually form better bonds and friendships with others purely because they don’t have a significant other taking up the lion’s share of their efforts and energies.

Being single allows you to live your life on your own terms, uncompromisingly.

You can focus on yourself and do what’s necessary to empower and grow yourself and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

In fact, for many of us, remaining single may just prove to be the greatest gift we can ever give ourselves.  Can’t wait to let that queen know that he’s a trendsetter, just like me.


The Little Poof is a contributing writer for the Anova Health Institute.  These are his views, which may or may not reflect those of Anova and its affiliates.

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