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Listen, us gays are full of shit. We know this. Many, if not most of us are like teenage girls when it comes to body image; deluded, insecure, obsessive and almost always based on the opinion of some lush, washboard ab-ed, unattainable jock we’d all like to live our sexual fantasies out with.

Of course, I am also guilty of this mindset. Well, seeing as basically 100% of gay blogs, sites, cruises and media objectifies that exact jock physique, how can the rest of us, “festively plump” fags compare? I’ll spend some time on said blog, perving, only to walk past my reflection and be reminded that I will never be that guy. Depression.

I mean, WHO ARE THESE GUYS, EVEN? Are they real? What is your life? Where do they find time to spend hours pumping iron and giving themselves hard-ons in the mirror? We’ve turned the male body into our gay currency. Could this be why gay men struggle to find lasting relationships? There is always a hotter, more toned Mary around any corner.

I’ve had the, “I’m going to pump iron until I vomit and his summer, I’m walking around in nothing but cut-off denim shorts,” ideals for myself before. If only there was a cheesecake at the top of every pull up, I might actually have done it…

Don’t get me wrong, keeping fit is great, I encourage it, but the pressure to look like the embodiment of perfection is heavy. It’s not only women who get objectified anymore and to a certain extent straight men aren’t pressured as much as gay men to have the perfect body. It’s almost like there is a disconnect between gay men’s bodies and minds. We put the perfect body on a pedestal without thinking about the person behind the Adonis complexion. Does having a six pack truly make you happy? Maybe it’s not a coincidence that 90% of the guys on Gridr have the perfect body yet none of them are in relationships…

The point is, as RuPaul exclaims, “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you going to love anybody else?”

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