Most people associate the rectum and anus with excretion. However, your rectum is generally free of faeces as your body does quite a good job of cleaning itself. If your rectum contains faeces, it sends a message to the brain that you need to head for a toilet to relieve yourself. This means that we don’t usually walk around with a rectum full of faeces! If you are concerned about being clean before and during sex, gently finger yourself, with a well-lubricated finger of course, to make sure that you are clean so that you can relax and enjoy receptive anal sex.
Some guys prefer to prepare for anal play by douching (rinsing out your rectum with tepid water). This requires you to squirt a small amount of water into the rectum; hold it for a few moments and release. Repeat this action until your rectum is clean. Don’t be tempted to use a large quantity of water, as this could wash down faeces from higher up in your digestive system. Please bear in mind though, that overuse of enemas before anal sex may inflame the anal lining which can cause the anal canal to tear easily during penetration.
Always use clean, luke warm water. Do not be tempted to add any substance such as soap, salt or vinegar. The lining of your rectum is very delicate and sensitive and is easily irritated by anything chemical.
Lubrication, Lubrication, Lubrication
Water-based sexual lube is needed for anal sex because, unlike a vagina, the anus is dry. lubemakes the anus smooth and slippery, like a vagina, so that a penis can enter it more comfortably and easily. Dry anal sex can be painful and can damage the soft lining of the rectum, which will increase the risk of transmitting HIV or other sexually transmitted infections (STIs). By making the sex smoother, lube also helps ensure that the condom doesn’t break. Water-based lube should always be used together with a condom.
Sexual lubricants are sometimes difficult to access when you need them which leads to some guys using oil based products such as moisturisers or domestic cooking oils as a substitute. Using oil-based lubricants is inadvisable as they are not compatible with condoms (and may cause them to break).
Use A Condom
The receptive partner (bottom) is at most risk of HIV infection during bareback (condomless) anal sex. condoms and water-based lubricant remain your best defense against HIV and STIs. Explore various condom brands to find one that works for you. If you can afford to, shop around and try different brands and sizes.
Should the condom break during sex, be safe and get PEP within 72 hours of possible exposure – there’s no need to take a chance.
Go Arse About Face
This means take it slow and introduce foreplay (especially if you’re new to anal sex). Even though you may be keen to get down to business, your anus may not be. Start with something smaller, like a finger, and work your way up in size until you feel comfortable that you can handle your partner’s cock. Ask him to go slowly – at first. If you feel pain at some point, ask him to stop (while he’s inside you) to let your sphincter muscles relax again. Remember, this is a marathon and not a sprint, hopefully.
Another tip is to choose a sex position where the bottom can control the depth and force of anal penetration. You will have more control if you are on top. Get him to rub the tip of his cock over your anus entrance. The muscles around this area may start contracting automatically. If it does, get used to this contracting before attempting penetration. When you’re ready, take hold of his penis and sit up, easing it in bit by bit as you feel more comfortable. Once he is in, you can have complete control over the depth and pace of penetration.
Get Regular Checkups
Anal sex with a condom and plenty of lube is usually safe but there are some risks involved that need to be considered and addressed. Not only is there an increased risk of STIs but physical complications such as anal fissures (tears) can occur if not done safely and correctly.
Periodic checkups will keep you healthy and detect complications before they get serious. Getting tested for HIV and other STIs regularly will help ensure you are in peak condition both physically and mentally.
Anal sex should not be painful! If severe continuous pain endures, ask your physician to check you for anal problems such as ulcers. These can be caused by STIs (herpes or syphilis) or physical damage (dry/lubeless sex) and are very painful and potentially dangerous as they provide an easy entry point for HIV if you are exposed to your partner’s cum during sex. Should an anal ulcer get infected, pain and mucous or pus discharging from your rectum could indicate that you may have an abscess or an STI. Anal ulcers can form scar tissue, which may continue to cause constant ongoing pain and constipation.
In Conclusion – Have Fun
There’s a lot to consider but it’ll all become second nature. Just remember to relax and have fun and be prepared for some of the most intense sensations and orgasms.