‘Stealthing’ is when a guy agrees to use a condom, but then purposefully slips it off in such a way that the guy who’s bottoming doesn’t notice. Besides being deceptive, very risky and unethical (whether the guy stealthing cums inside the guy bottoming or not), it can put both guys at risk. The guy who does it puts his desire for a thrill above the health and wellbeing of his sexual partner and exploits him.
With anal sex, the person who is the bottom is at higher risk than the person who is topping. Obviously, if the guy who removes the condom has an STI or is HIV-positive (and not on ARV treatment), then the guy who is bottoming may be at heightened risk of infection or reinfection. The top guy may also be transmitting other sexually transmitted infections that he doesn’t know about, or even be exposing himself to one that the bottom may have. Some people who have been victims of ‘stealthing’ have said that they felt it was a serious violation and even compared it to rape.
If you’re a bottom or versatile guy that is worried about someone ‘stealthing’ you, you can keep an eye on your partner better if you face him during sex. “Doggy-style” or even riding your partner can make it difficult to see what he is getting up to back there.
Speak to your healthcare provider about the possibility of going onto pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) to significantly reduce your chances of becoming HIV-positive, even if you do fall victim to ‘stealthing’. Remember though, that PrEP will not protect you from any of the other STIs. Chat to your local healthcare provider about the current cost of PrEP (or the cheaper generic form) and its availability. To find your nearest gay friendly Health4Men Clinic go to http://www.health4men.co.za/map/
Bruce J. Little is the Content Creator for Anova Health Institute, these are his views, which may or may not reflect those of Anova and its affiliates.
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